I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
