god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
