look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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