Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
