just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
