we made out on top of his cat.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
