Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
