You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
