I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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