MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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