is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
