his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
