Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
