so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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