so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
