question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
