if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize