Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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