You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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