Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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