just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
