playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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