This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
