I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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