I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize