this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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