Just cropdusted the office
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
