So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
