Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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