Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
