i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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