Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
PANTIES FOUND
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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