i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
