This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You left your phone here
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