I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
