I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
