billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
