it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
