i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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