I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
