I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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