You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
