Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
