there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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