I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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