Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
