suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Randomize
