You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
