Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
