dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
