peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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