Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
