it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
