If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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