12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize