and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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