Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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