"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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