Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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