if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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