I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
