Can i not drive my cunt home
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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