i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
