im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
