Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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