Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
