hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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