So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
